Anything Goes
by Cheap Indifference
Summary: I was my own person and I was determined to let all of Tulsa know it. I was about to make a change, one that would get me recognized. People were gonna know who Jane Mathews was, for better or for worse.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or its characters they belong to Susie. I also do not own 'Anything Goes' by Guns n' Roses.**

**A/N: I am currently rewriting the prologue and all eight chapters. For now it isn't necessary to re-read them (they are just better written), if this changes I will mention it in an updated chapter.**

**XXX**

Ever since I could remember people have known me as Two-Bit's kid sister. It never really bothered me before. People were nice to me and no one really ever bothered me all that much.

The first time it had ever really bugged the hell outta me was when I met Colin Middleton, the cute blond who sat behind me in history class. And when I finally worked up the guts to talk to the guy, the first words out of his mouth were: "Hey, you're Two-Bit Mathews' kid sister, right?"

Nothing pissed me off more then being called _kid, _especially by someone younger than I was. Once people- and by people I mean guys- figured out who my brother was it was all they seemed to want to talk about... or not talk at all. They either loved Keith or wanted nothing to do with me _because _of Keith. And for the most part it didn't bother me much, I mean it did weed out a lot of assholes.

Colin Middleton was my eye opener. They all treated me differently, whether it was my brothers' friends, guys from other gangs or even Socs... not that I was complaining. I knew a lot of girls who were hassled to no end. I used to think that made me lucky but I'd rather have guys hassle me then not even giving me a glance. It wasn't as if I couldn't take care of myself, after all I was a Mathews.

Then there were people like teachers who despised me simply because my last name was Mathews. Most adults like store clerks and my friends' parents looked at me like I was up to no good... like I was no better than the guys who ran with the Shepard gang.

Don't get me wrong I loved my brother more than anything in the world. I just wanted people to know who I was. I was my own person and I was determined to let all of Tulsa know it.

I was about to make a change, one that would get me recognized. People were gonna know who Jane Mathews was, for better or for worse._  
_

There were no more rules, no limits; for the new Jane Mathews, _anything goes._

XXX

**A/N: I want to say a big huge thank you to everyone at GG&SC because with you guys there would be no Jane and that would be… really upsetting. So thanks for being so epically awesome! I also enjoy reviews, so go do that and I'll love you forever.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own, but I love to borrow.**

**A/N: This chapter has been updated! Enjoy and please point out any mistakes, I do proof these myself and they can easily be missed.**

**December 27, 1965**

"You do know what you're doing right Janey?" Keith asked, looking at me from the passenger seat of his car. I glanced at him and started the car.

"Sure," I said with confidence, "step on the gas and go."

"Alrighty," he said, shaking his head a little, "just don't crash my baby."

He looked nervous and I giggled before putting the car in reverse. His car was such a piece, it'd probably work better if I hit a tree; not that I would or… at least mean to. I quickly pulled out of the driveway, making the tires screech.

"See? Easy," I grinned, looking at him. He looked like he'd shit his pants or something. "What?"

"You've gone and got me a heart attack," he said, "there ain't nothin' wrong with ya know… driving like a normal person."

My brother had a tendency to over exaggerate; he was almost always easy going, but when it came to me, it was a different story. I was his kid sister so I guess I didn't blame him any, but I swear he had it in his head that I was ten instead of fifteen. I did appreciate it, I mean not everyone had someone who actually cared.

"You should talk," I teased, "besides you drive with Steve."

Steve was the craziest driver I knew. He probably never in his life went the speed limit; I had to give credit where it was due though, he was a damn good driver. Not that anyone who knew Steve would tell him so, due to the risk of inflating his ego anymore then it already was.

"Steve's been drivin' since he was twelve," he argued, "and he ain't ever killed no one."

"Put a little faith in your kid sister, huh?" I smirked as I stepped on the gas and headed towards The DX.

XXX

"Slow down!" my brother said, raising his voice a little. "Brake! Brake!"

I slammed on the brakes and stopped at the red light. Looking at my brother, he was slouching in his seat, one hand on the dashboard and the other holding onto the door. His fist was clenched so tight his knuckles were white.

"Are you crazy?" he asked. I gave him a slight shrug as I watched the traffic zip by in front of us. I glanced at him; I didn't see what the problem was. I stopped for the light, I was behind the line, and I hadn't crashed into a tree.

"You'll never get your license," he huffed, loosening his grip on the door.

"You got yours, Mr. Yellow-Means-Speed-Up," I snorted as I raised an eyebrow at him before sticking my tongue out at him, he stuck his out in return before pointing at the light.

"Green means go, genius," he said as he rolled down the window and flipped off the honking car behind us. It was typical Keith—if anyone was going to honk at his sister, it was going to be him.

"A good rule to live by kiddo," he said as I pulled into The DX and attempted to park. "Jus' do the opposite of everything I do."

I nodded in an overly enthusiastic understanding before giving him a smile. "Not just in driving but in life in general."

"Smartass," he grinned before asking for the keys, holding out his hand as we made our way inside the gas station. I gave him a look before handing him his keys, he wasn't gonna let me drive home.

"You promised you'd practice with me," I argued as I opened the door to the gas station, making the little bell above the door ring. Actually, he had pinky promised—the promise of all promises. Ever since we were kids the pinky promise was like your word and even as kids we knew that our word was all we really had.

"I ain't willin' to put my life on the line—"

"Keith! Who's gonna take me then?" I interrupted, picking up my pace to keep up with him.

"Someone with a death wish," he said half seriously. "Get Dal to take you."

Grinning, he put two Cokes on the counter, waiting for Steve or Soda to appear from out of the garage. I grumbled under my breath I wasn't even sure Dallas had his license; I think he just drove because he didn't give a fuck.

"Heya, Stevie!" my brother barked as Steve made his way out of the garage; his hands and clothes covered in black grease. I liked Steve enough, he was a year older than me and I only saw him at school on the occasional lunch period and that was mostly because Evie tended to drag him around almost everywhere.

"You're actually plannin' on payin' for those?" Steve asked, skeptically, glancing at the Cokes on the counter as he wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Of course," he grinned at Steve before turning towards me. "You got twenty cents, Janey?"

I rolled my eyes before digging out two dimes from my pocket. I really didn't know how he went without a job. He always claimed to be the man of the house but had no intention of actually stepping up and being the man I knew he could be. Don't get me wrong, I loved my brother more then anyone but he could be a real hypocrite sometimes.

"Whaddya say about takin' Janey out drivin'?" my brother asked Steve as I put the dimes on the counter. If anyone knew Steve, they knew that if he were in a car with anyone he'd be the one driving, end of discussion. He had always been that way, the one that strives for attention; I was pretty sure that is sometimes drove my brother crazy but maybe that was because Keith was the same way.

"If she drives anything like you Two-Bit, there ain't a hope in hell." Steve opened the cash register with a smirk before I gave him the bird, his smirk turned into a grin as he returned the favour. Steve had a way of being a huge asshole, it was nothing to take seriously it was just the way he was. The good thing about it was he could take it just as well as he could give it; Evie was convinced we hated each other because whenever we did talk the conversation was riddled with sarcasm and snide remarks. I always thought it was our own way of getting along, there probably would be hate if we took each other seriously, that was why Ponyboy thought Steve hated him.

"Hey!" Keith objected. "I'm a good driver."

"You drive just about as good as your car runs," Steve quipped giving my brother a smug smirk. Keith faked a hurt face before slowly nodding in agreement that his car was in fact a piece of shit.

"That reminds me," he said, opening a Coke and handing it to me. "When I start 'ol Betsy she makes this loud, annoying sound- kinda sounds like you when you lose a race."

"You'll have to describe that a little better Two-Bit since I don't lose," he retorted before telling him he'd stop by sometime next week to take a look at it.

I always wished that I had friends like my brother had; friends that'd do anything for each other. I didn't have friends that I could actually joke around with, without them taking it the wrong way. Girls were catty gossip queens, and it seemed like they loved the drama. I had lost a friend once by telling the truth, she took it wrong and _poof, _it was as if we hadn't been friends at all.

Sure, I had grown up with the Curtis' since I was in diapers and they were my friends and we talked but it wasn't as if we went out of our way to hang out with each other. They were my friends but they were my friends because I was 'Two-Bit's kid sister.'

Ever since we were really young, every Sunday dinner my mom would invite the Curtis' over. My mom and Mrs. Curtis had been best friends since grade school and it was like tradition, even before Dad left, I remembered the Curtis' always being there. The boys would go off together and I'd be stuck in the house listening to the parents yammer. It's why Ponyboy and my brother were as close as they were and I'd always been jealous of him for stealing my brother away when he already had two.

And then they passed away, I remember thinking that it was the most tragic thing that I hoped I'd ever have to go through. Ma took it pretty hard, and Sunday dinner's turned into a monthly thing. We still had them 'cuz mom cared about those boys something awful. I was betting if she could afford it she'd've helped them out a lot more then sending a casserole home with them once a month.

"Anyway," my brother grinned before taking a sip of his Coke. "I happen to think I'm a pristine driver."

I think he knew he was full of it but he got Steve smiling and to him that's all that mattered. People always thought my brother was a clown and that he was never serious. I've always wanted to tell those people to live in my shoes for a day and see how serious he could be. In all actuality my brother just liked making people smile, he told me once that people on this side of town needed a laugh every so often and if he had to be the person to put smiles on peoples faces he was happy to do it.

"Pristine?" Steve snickered. "Don't tell me you've actually opened a book this year."

Giggling, I listened to them bicker back and forth about how repeating junior year was ace because that way you learned more rather then taking it just once.

This year we were both juniors, a lot of people hassled him for it. I always wondered why the teachers didn't just pass him to simply get rid of him. We only had one class together, math. I'd be surprised if they made it that way on purpose, putting the two of us together in something as boring as a math class was a complete and utter gong show. Together we were probably the two most annoying people in the world. When we weren't talking we were laughing, we were loud, obnoxious, and I was pretty sure the teacher was questioning her chosen profession.

Even though math class was a riot, my brother being in high school longer then needed made it harder to get out from living in his shadow. So long as we were at the same school, in the same grade no less, I would forever be known as Baby Mathews.

Fucking peachy.

XXX

After a few more minutes in The DX I made my way back outside and waited for Keith. The guy could probably talk forever if people would let him. I sat on the hood of the car, cigarette in hand and waited awhile longer before he decided to finally get the show on the road.

"Jane, don't be an idiot," my brother said as he grabbed my cigarette. I glared up at him and sighed, I really didn't see what the big deal was; everyone smoked, everyone.

Even if he was being hypocritical, I really couldn't say much, what was I gonna say? It was literally impossible to reason with my brother… if you were me at least. When it came to us, he was always right and I was always, always wrong.

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow as he tossed it on the ground. I rolled my eyes and hopped off of the car. I didn't know why he even bothered, it wasn't gonna stop me and he wasn't stupid either, he knew that.

I bit my tongue to stop myself from being a total bitch. One of the most important things to me was what my brother thought of me; he was my brother of course I cared if I disappointed him. He was all I really had, when dad left, mom started working a whole lot more, and I was lucky if I saw her more then twice a week.

And dad, well dad had been gone almost nine years, he left and I don't think he looked back either. I couldn't help but hope that he'd come back someday, though I'd never admit that to anyone. And I don't dare talk to Keith about it, last time I did that he didn't talk to me for over a week. Our dad was a touchy subject for the both of us, so we just ignored it as much as we could.

Keith had pretty much raised me after that and taught me all the 'important' things' like stick together and don't get caught.

I just always had to remind myself to remember that Keith was my brother and he had done a lot for me over the years, the least I could do was be a good kid. But being _good _really didn't get anyone noticed, did it?

He sighed and tossed me the keys before making his way to the passenger side. I gave him a grin and stared at him.

"Just try not to kill us, alright?"


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Everything from The Outsiders belongs to Susie.**

**XXX**

**December 29, 1965  
**

"You totally have to let him get to second base, Jane," Angela Shepard said as she started pulling the curlers out from the back part of my head. I looked up from my nails and red nail polish, staring at her through the mirror. I scrunched up my nose before looking down and painting my middle finger.

I had been out with Jimmy Marshall once and if the second date went anything like the first he'd be lucky to end up with a peck on the cheek. We ended up going to The Dingo and he happened to forget his wallet. Not that I expected him to pay for me but I definitely wasn't prepared to pay for him too. I ended up paying for his popcorn and Coke too, an entire weeks worth of working at the grocery store that was wasted on a guy who couldn't take a hint and keep his hands to himself. And after the blatant hints that I wasn't interested he thought we could go park and have some fun. After telling him I didn't kiss on the first date let alone do anything else, he took me straight home. I was surprised he asked be out again.

"That some kind of new rule I don't know about?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. I heard Angela sigh through her nose before tugging on my hair.

"Ow," I snapped as I swatted her hands away from my head. "Bitch," I mumbled as I pulled out the last curler

"Jane, people are never gonna wanna date you if they think you're a prude," Angela said, snapping her gum. I rolled my eyes as I finished painting my nails. I never understood why girls found it necessary to chew their gum like cows, if you asked me it was unattractive.

"Can it Angel," I said, "ya don't even know what you're talking about."

It was true too, Angela was fourteen and I was pretty sure she was waiting for her first kiss to be with Ponyboy Curtis. She was as innocent as they came, it just seemed Tulsa was the worst when it came to gossip and rumors. Before the second day Angela stepped foot in Will Rogers she had a reputation, and it wasn't a good one either. Maybe it was the fact that she was a Shepard, people knew it'd get to her brothers, or maybe it was teenage girls that were jealous of her long, dark hair and bright blue eyes. She said it didn't bother her but I knew it would have pissed me off something awful. It upset her just like it would upset any girl and I think the reason she liked me so much was because I knew better then to believe that a fourteen-year-old kid was as easy as someone like Sylvia Clarke.

"Hey, having a reputation is better then being a nobody," she said as she held up a pink shirt from her closet. "Do you even own anything pink?"

I shook my head as I blew on my nails; Angela gaped at me and I gave her a shrug. I always thought pink looked odd with my rusty hair colour.

"I have an outfit picked out at home," I told her, trying to avoid the pink shirt.

I had been at the Shepard's place all afternoon and I was starting to get used to finding excuses to give to her. I had managed to turn blue eye shadow and red lipstick into curls and red nail polish.

Angela liked make over's and I seemed to be her favourite subject. I didn't mind playing the sister role but the girl couldn't put make up on if her life depended on it. The door downstairs slammed shut, I glanced at Angela; her brothers and Dallas were back from their special "business".

I never understood the point of gangs. All they did was cause violence, I despised fights especially ones that involved people I cared about. Considering who I was related to and who hung out with I had to learn to live with it. Now I knew the difference between the Curtis gang and the Shepard gang, that's why I was glad my brother was part of the Curtis gang. Sure, he got in trouble but he didn't end up in the cooler and he didn't end up hurt enough to make it to the hospital. I was glad Dallas wasn't a part of the Shepard gang but he was still pretty good friends with Tim and he still got into a shit load of trouble. Though he got into trouble with or without Tim.

Almost as quickly the door slammed shut Angela had her bedroom door open, hanging over the railing. I didn't know what it was but girls had this infatuation with Dallas. Every girl wants a badass they can fix, I guess. I'd rather have a guy I didn't need to fix but hey, it worked for him. I always teased him that he only got the girls 'cuz of his pretty blond hair but I always got mine in the end because one thing Dallas would always be good at was bugging me.

Dallas and me were friends; actually, I considered him my best friend. I never told him though 'cuz I didn't know if he thought the same way. Sometimes I thought he did because hell, he's told me some pretty fucked up shit that I didn't think many people knew about. I never saw him in any other way but as a friend and I valued our friendship too much to complicate it with anything else.

"Hey, Dally," Angela said in what I assumed was supposed to be her flirtatious voice. I never knew how she could flirt, or in her case try to flirt with a guy like that in front of her brothers. I had a tough enough time telling Keith I was going on a date.

I cringed inwardly and held back a giggle as I grabbed my sweater that was hanging on the railing. I didn't know who gave one of the toughest people I knew the nickname 'Dally' but I'd always hated it. Made him sound like a girl or something, it was the worst nickname ever. I mean, living with Janey was tolerable but… Dally?

And I knew for a fact he didn't like it, he confessed it once when he drunk as all hell. He never did anything about it either because pretty well everyone that knew him called him Dally, it was a name that stuck. And with friends like my brother and Tim Shepard, he couldn't very well tell people to stop 'cuz it bugged him.

"Hey, Shepard," Dallas grinned, "ya got somethin' on your face."

Angela turned and looked at me with an expression of horror on her face. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing as she turned around and stomped back to her bedroom. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything but her face was a different colour then the rest of her. Dallas could be a real prick though, poor girl had crush on him. If there was anyway to crush a fourteen year olds self esteem that was it.

I hopped down the stairs two at a time, Dallas was my ride home and I had this date to go on and I wasn't bringing my wallet this time.

"What did ya do to your hair?" Dallas asked as he ruffled it, messing it up to all hell. I glared up at him and swatted at his hands.

"It was curled 'til you went and messed it up." Guys really didn't appreciate what we did to look good. I mean I wore those curlers all afternoon. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

"Ya didn't break too much of the law, did ya?" I asked as I put my sweater on.

"Us?" Tim smirked, leaning back in his chair. "Never."

"Uh huh," I said skeptically as I turned to Tim. "Ya know Timmy, if Dallas ends up in the cooler 'cuz of you, I'mma kick your ass myself."

I smiled when Tim let a grin slip. The guy smiled less then Dallas did, maybe it was the Mathews in me or something but making people smile was one thing I was good at.

"All five feet and a hundred pounds of you, Janey?" Dallas snorted.

"Damn straight."

XXX

My date, Jimmy, was twenty minutes late. I was beginning to think he wasn't gonna show when I heard a honk from outside. I got up from the couch and looked out the front window. There he was in his beat up Ford, he honked again as I turned around to head outside.

"That your date?" Keith asked from the fridge. I stopped at the door and turned to look at him. "He's late ain't he?"

I gave my brother a shrug as I tried to drown out the annoying honks coming from outside.

"I shouldn't keep him waiting," I said as I turned for the door again. I heard my brother make his way up behind me before he put his hand on the door.

"He kept you waitin', I think it's only fair. And he can damn well come to the door and ring the doorbell like a normal date."

"Keith," I sighed, "it's not a big deal. I don't care." Truth was it made me feel miserable. The guy had me wondering for a whole twenty minutes if he was going to even show up. He even had me thinking I wasn't good enough or important enough. Keith knew I was full of shit so he shook his head and stood in front of the door.

"Yeah, well I do," he said right before the doorbell rang. Before I could tell him to go back to the T.V. room he had the door open and was glaring down at Jimmy Marshall like he was about to pummel the guy.

I found my brother to be the least threatening guy on the face of the planet. He was always smiling, always joking, and always having fun. But when he wanted to get mean and tough, he was scary as any other greaser on the East side.

"Keith, don't," I said, almost pleading. I didn't like the guy that much but I still wanted to try and have a good time tonight.

"Just one sec Janey," he said, still glaring down at Jimmy. "You must be Jimmy Marshall."

"Yeah," he said, in an almost bored tone. I shook my head, I knew he was and asshole but stupid… he really didn't have anything going for him 'cept his looks. "Look I've been waiting outside, so where's Jane?"

Keith let out a chuckle in disbelief. And I tensed up a little; I really hoped he didn't punch him in the face.

"You're late," Keith spat angrily.

"So?" Jimmy snorted. "I'm here now and I wanna go. So stop trying to be some big shot tough guy."

I saw my brother's back tense and he was gripping the door awfully tight. I was about to interrupt before Keith decided to put him in his place, with words, thankfully.

"Listen you little shit. It should be a goddamn privilege for someone like you to take out someone like my sister. You shouldn't be twenty minutes late; you should be fucking twenty minutes early. You best be treating her with a little more respect or I'll beat the living shit out of you. And that includes coming to the door and ringing the goddamn doorbell."

My hands were wringing the hem of my shirt when Keith walked away from the door. I knew he'd walked away only to keep himself from choking the guy out. And the only reason he didn't give Jimmy what he deserved was because of me. My brother knew me probably better then I knew myself. He knew the twenty long minutes I'd been waiting were hell and he probably knew how shitty it made me feel. So, no I wasn't mad at him for flying off the handle because if someone made him feel like I had, I would have done the same thing.

"Man, your brother is a psycho, I know you guys have daddy issues but Christ," Jimmy said as I looked up at him. I raised an eyebrow at him before slapping him as hard as I could across the cheek.

"What the fuck?" he said, raising his voice at me. I shook my head in disbelief and shoved him until he backed off the porch. In our community everyone knew about everyone's family issues, that included divorces, deaths, and in my case abandonment. No one ever mentioned anyone else's home life, out of respect, but everyone knew.

My dad was a touchy subject, not just for me but for my entire family. Thinking about it now made tears spring to my eyes and I felt like attacking him, though I wouldn't put it past the asshole to hit me back.

You just didn't say that shit to someone. The guy deserved a lot more then a slap and a shove and if my brother were still in hearing range, Jimmy wouldn't've been able to walk normally for a couple weeks.

"Get the hell off my porch," I snapped. "And don't for a second think about calling me or talking to me, you fucking prick."

"Sweetheart, do you even think you're worth that?" he snorted as he turned around and made his way back to his pick up truck. I slammed the door shut and took a deep breath. I didn't remember the last time I cried but there was no way in hell I was crying over him. I turned around and saw my brother staring at me from the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry Janey," he apologized. I shook my head and gave him the best smile I could muster given the situation. I wasn't mad at him, Jimmy was the asshole and I should have never agreed to go on a second date with him.

"It ain't your fault I have bad taste in guys."

"You're gonna turn me grey before I turn twenty," he smirked. "Ed Sullivan's on, wanna watch?"

I nodded before we made our way to the couch. It was our favourite show and we always watched it together, matter of fact, I didn't bother watching it if he wasn't around. My brother had told me once that he was the only man I could count on. I made jokes about him being a man; truth was he was the best man I had ever met. And I wasn't just saying that 'cuz he was my brother.

**XXX**

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**A/N: I am not a big fan of this chapter; make sure you point out any mistakes. And I want to make this perfectly clear this is ****NOT**** a Dallas romance, some will be disappointed but I'm guessing most will be relieved. **


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Big thanks to aero for editing this for me. Much love chicka.**

**XXX**

**December 31, 1965**

I worked at the grocery store that was right in between the Curtis turf and Shepard turf. H & M Lucky Dollar, it was more of a corner store than anything. The initials stood for Henry and Maude Oswald; they were the cute, older couple that privately owned the place way before there were turfs and the wrong side of the tracks. They were nice people, nice enough to send me home with a couple brown paper bags full of food when they thought I wasn't eating enough.

I'd been working in the store since I was fourteen, and normally a kid at that age would never get a job anywhere but my Ma was the one who set me up. Apparently, my dad and Mr. and Mrs. Oswald's son fought in Japan together back in the day. According to their son my dad was some kind of hero. I always had a tough time believing someone that abandoned their family could be a hero. I never said it out loud because I knew it wasn't true and I knew it was disrespectful but I thought I had the right to be bitter.

Glenn worked there too, Mr. and Mrs. Oswald's grandson. Everyone called him Ozzy and I was pretty sure he went to school with Darrel Curtis. He was the type that stayed out of trouble and he wasn't into the whole gang thing. His dad worked in the military, he was never home; it seemed like every time you turned around another war was beginning. I wasn't sure what he did but Ozzy said when he came back from the Second World War he wasn't the same, said that he thought that dropping bombs and gun shells were more of a comfort then his own home and off he went to Korea. If there was one person who hated war more then me, it'd have to be Ozzy.

The Oswald's were like my second family and I adored them. That was why when guys like Curly Shepard came in and decided that they deserved the five-finger discount, I had a problem.

"Shepard!" I hollered at him before he could make his way outside.

"Mathews, fancy meeting you here," he said, giving me some kind of sly smirk that he probably thought was attractive. It wasn't.

"Gimme your coat," I said, holding out my hand. He was grinning at me and eyeing me up and I was everything but flattered.

"You want my pants too, Mathews?" He snickered as he stepped closer to me. I think that he thought he was scaring me or something. Someone like Curly wasn't scary unless they decided to actually raise their fist at you. He wasn't like his brother or Dallas, where people just knew not to fuck with them. So instead of backing away I rolled my eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"The coat, Curly," I said again. "Or I can get Ozzy over here."

He slowly shrugged off his jacket and handed it to me. I smirked a little at his defeat. Ozzy was a pretty big guy and I'd really hate to be the person stealing from his grandparents.

"Ya know, Janey, being a Mathews, I thought you'd be boss with a little discount here and there."

This is where the stereotype came in. Seeing that my brother was a certain way, apparently I had to be like that too in some way, shape or form. Shit like that really pissed me off. I glared up at him as I started emptying out his coat pockets. Most of it was stuff he probably would never use. A couple of candy bars and a car magazine were the only two things I could see him getting use out of.

"Do I look like my brother?" I bit as dug around in his pockets.

"Nah, you're better lookin'." He winked.

"Shuddup, Curly." Smirking, I shook my head a little as I pulled out make up from his inside pocket. I tilted my head to the side and gave him a questioning look, raising my eyebrow. I chuckled, shoving his jacket back at him.

"What?" he said as he shrugged his jacket on. "Angel's birthday is in a week."

"Uh-huh," I teased. Well, at least he was thinking of someone besides himself. Her birthday was coming up right quick though; I remembered her going on about sneaking into Buck's to celebrate. I didn't see how it would work, seeing as if one of her brother's weren't there the other was bound to be. And I doubted they'd be too keen on her being there; Keith hardly let me go and I was two years older then Angela.

"Ya gonna let me take you out tonight?" he asked, moving closer to me. I shook my head as I stumbled backwards. He definitely caught me off guard. He was unpredictable, and I'd be lying if I said that that alone didn't interest me. But it was Curly Shepard, I'd went to school with him since forever, and quite frankly, he had the reputation of doing anything for a piece of ass.

"Is it 'cuz I'mma Shepard?" he asked in a low voice as he ran his hand down my arm, grabbing my wrist.

I guess I couldn't use his last name as an excuse for anything because that would make me the biggest hypocrite in the world. I had never been in a situation like this; nobody has ever been this forward towards me before, it made me uncomfortable. Maybe he knew that and maybe that was why he was doing it.

Before I knew it I was backed up against the front counter with nowhere to go. I could feel my face start to burn up and I knew if I tried to come up with some smart ass comment it would come out all jumbled and wrong.

"Do I look like my brother?" he whispered into my ear, throwing my words back at me. My heart was pounding in my chest and I didn't know whether Curly Shepard repulsed me or gave me butterflies. His hands made their way to my hips, pulling me closer to him.

The fact of the matter was Curly looked exactly like Tim, but I was sure that's not what he meant. I guess he was sort of made of him, like me. He'd always live in his big brother's shadow and no matter how hard he tried to break free from that, it'd never happen because he'd always be Baby Shepard. I knew exactly how he felt. I felt him smirk against my cheek before kissing it. I must have been holding my breath because all of a sudden I couldn't seem to get enough of it.

"Is there a problem here, Janey?" I heard Ozzy ask as he walked up from aisle two. I pushed Curly away from me as soon as I felt him loosen his grip. He was giving me this wolfish, mischievous grin; I quickly looked away and turned to Oz before shaking my head.

"No problem," I said, "he was just leaving."

"Mhm," Ozzy grumbled as he picked up the box full of stock that needed to be put away. He gave Curly the once over before turning around.

"Happy New Years, Mathews," Curly grinned as he strutted out of the store.

XXX

I was done work at ten and my brother was supposed to pick me up, but seeing as it was New Years Eve, I wasn't surprised when I saw Darry sitting in his pick up truck in the parking lot. I sighed; I hadn't had more then a two-word conversation with any of the Curtis brothers since their parents' funeral. I hadn't really seen any of them since then, but what did you say to your friends who lost both their parents? I didn't think a sorry and a hug would make anyone in that situation feel better.

"Hey, kiddo," Darry said as I opened the passenger side door. I hated when people called me kid, it bothered me something awful. It was just a pet peeve, made me feel like all people saw me as was a kid. Honestly, I'd rather be called Janey the rest of my life then be stuck with everyone calling me kid.

"Hey Dar," I said, hopping into the truck.

"Your brother is already soused," he half smirked, shaking his head a little. The best thing for Darry right now was my brother. Sure he was good at making people smile and laugh but underneath his jokes he was a real good friend. He always listened and he gave the best advice he could offer. He was the one who was closest to Darry's age, and to most people's surprise, Keith could act his age when he wanted to, but not Darry. Darry knew that and I truly believed my brother had a big part on helping him through everything.

I knew because for a couple weeks after the Curtis parents passed away, Keith would spend a couple hours a night hanging out with Darry. He'd come home, almost in tears, and if you listened real good, you could hear him crying sometimes.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," I grinned.

"You coming over, Janey?" he asked as he turned out onto the street. "Some one will need to drive your brothers car home."

I gave him a small smile before shaking my head. It didn't feel right; to me it felt like the Curtises and Steve, Johnny, and Dal were more of my brother's friends then mine. It didn't bother me none, I had my own friends. I just felt like the kid sister I didn't want to be and I hated it.

"Oh, do you have other plans?"

"No." I shook my head again. Thinking about it, it was actually kind of sad. I mean I had friends, but I wasn't really popular like my brother, where everyone knew who I was. And I was really picky on who I hung out with because I tried to stay as far away from that girl drama as possible.

"Ya know, Jane, we still consider you a friend," he said. I glanced at him; it was like he had that thing parents had where they could read your mind or something. I gave him a shrug and stared out the window.

"Besides, Evie's there." I scrunched my nose a little. I liked Evie, I did. But a person could only take so much of the girl; I didn't know how Steve did it. She was nice and everything, but boy was she stupid. I swear sometimes I thought she was putting on some kind of show.

"Oh, I see, ya want me to distract her," I grinned, giggling a little. A whole night with Evie could definitely be a headache.

"Would I do that?" he asked. I grinned and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," I joked, making him chuckle. One person I loved to kid around with was Darry 'cuz he just didn't do it much, even before he had to grow up too fast.

XXX

"Janey!" my brother hollered, stumbling over the couch. "Janey, happy 1966!"

Keith pretty much tackled me into a big bear hug. I hugged him back and giggled a little.

"It's still 1965, dumb-dumb."

"Oh… well, just in case I dun see you at twelve," he slurred, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Ya mean just in case you're wrapped around the toilet bowl."

"Exactly!" he hiccupped.

"Two-Bit! Johnny went all in," Soda called from the living room coffee table.

My brother stumbled over the couch and sat down in between Steve and Soda and obnoxiously called Johnny's all in. I was assuming he'd be losing all his money tonight, but I didn't think he minded losing to Johnny much. I made my way over to the couch and sat down beside Evie. She was pretty much bouncing with joy at the sight of another girl.

"I don't know how you do it, Jane," Evie said. "Boys are, like, so boring when they're together."

I looked at Evie and didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. I didn't hang out with them everyday like my brother did or anything, but I guess I could see why people would think that way.

"Ya know, I always wondered why everyone celebrates New Years at twelve instead of one."

I blinked and turned to Evie, biting my tongue. I was about to explain to her that twelve was the beginning of the day when I heard the screen door slam and turned around to see Dallas all beat up. He sniffled from the cold outside and made his way into the kitchen without saying a word to anyone.

I looked over at the boys playing poker and giggled a little. They were so loud, even Darry was playing; the only person missing was Dallas. I huffed a little and leaned back into the couch to try sneak a peek into the kitchen. I worried about the guy because he was my friend, and I hated seeing my friends all bruised up.

"Janey," Soda whined and crawled in front of me, resting his head on my knees. He was giving me these puppy dog eyes, and I didn't care who you were—when Sodapop Curtis gave you a look like that you did what he was asked. He was such a pretty person, it was had not to stare at him, even if I had known him my whole life. I looked down at him and smirked a little.

"Can you get us beer?" He batted his eyelashes. Soda didn't drink much at all, but New Years was everyone's exception, and I think the only reason Darry was letting him get away with it was because this December during the holidays, their parents weren't around.

"Who could say no to a face like yours, huh? How many?" I sighed. Usually I'd put up more of an argument, like asking him if I looked like a maid. But I wanted an excuse to go see what Dallas was up to and a reason to avoid Evie; it was like my IQ dropped every time she spoke.

"Hm." Soda smirked as he held up five fingers.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the kitchen and saw Dallas leaning against the kitchen counter, biting at the skin of his nails. He was in one of those moods, the one where you just stayed away from him 'cuz he'd bash your head in if you said the wrong thing.

"Try not to smile, ya might crack your face," I grinned as I dug into the icebox, taking out five beers and putting them on the counter. He just stared at me, and I sighed a little. I got away with shit when it came to Dallas; I think it bothered him. I giggled at the look on his face before he shook his head.

I opened the cupboard underneath the sink and dug out the first aid kit. Maybe it was the sister in me, but when someone was all busted up, I had the urge to fix it and I always did. Dallas once made me give him stitches, it was the scariest thing I had ever had to do to someone.

"Why do ya gotta fuss over everything?" Dallas grumbled as I dug out a cotton ball and alcohol and glanced up at him. As much as he complained I knew he appreciated it because it wasn't like anyone else cared enough to dig him out a first aid kit.

"Why are you pretending you don't like it?"

He snorted as I stood in front of him. I shook my head before dabbing the cut above his eyebrow. Luckily he only had one cut, it looked pretty nasty though. I winced a little when he let out a hiss.

"Fucking Soc's, man," he said as he grabbed the cotton ball from me. Okay, pretty much everyone on the East side hated Soc's, with good reason. They seemed to think it was okay to come over here and kick the shit out of people. I had this irrational hate for them; I hated all of them I didn't care if I didn't know them. To me, they were all the same. Maybe it made me as bad them, but again, I didn't give a fuck. At least I knew it was irrational.

Glancing into the living room, I heard a muffled Happy New Year that didn't really sound like anything at all.

"To a better year," I grinned at Dallas, handing him a beer as I grabbed the others off the counter.

"Yeah, right," he said before taking a sip of his beer, walking with me to the living room.

"Happy 1966!" my brother yelled as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and the other around Dallas'.

"Another year full of booze and broads," Dallas said. I giggled as the guys cheered, putting the beer down on the coffee table. I had a feeling that this was the year that everything was going to change.

**XXX**

**If you can read you can review, right?**

**AN: and don't worry she's not best friends with the gang, that's the complete opposite of what's going to happen :D  
**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. Amber Kemp belongs to aero!**

**A/N: I am human and make mistakes, so point them out if you spot them.**

**XXX**

**January 3, 1966**

"Do you like my brother?" Angela asked me as I grabbed my textbook from my locker. She had a way of popping out of know where; it was frightening. I looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Which one?" I teased, smirking when I saw the look of panic creep onto her face. Angela had a thing with the girls her brothers dated… or hooked up with, whatever. I think that it was a mixture of jealousy and not thinking anyone was good enough for them. Either way it made a lot of girls hate her, a lot, because the Shepard boys were sluts, for lack of a better word.

"Not funny, Jane," she said, shoving my shoulder a little. "You're not gonna start dating Curly are you?"

"No," I snorted. I scrunched my nose a little, all that was going through my mind was: "Ew, Curly." I couldn't help but think how it was any of her business though. I really didn't care for being told what to do; it almost made me want to date the guy just to put her in her place.

"Really? 'Cuz he's been talking about you…"

"He has?" I interrupted as we made our way down the hall. That wasn't something I heard everyday, boys didn't really "talk" about me. My brother always told me that confidence is what made a girl attractive, I told him that was what ugly people said.

Hell, if being confident was attractive how come every single guy I've ever met went after the girls that thought they needed to be with a guy to feel better about themselves. I guess certain rules didn't apply when an older brother was talking to his kid sister.

"Does it matter?" Angela said, looking at me now. I smirked and switched my books into my other arm. She was too easy.

"I swear, Jane…"

"What?" I snapped, raising an eyebrow. We were supposed to be friends, even if I thought either of her brothers was remotely attractive and wanted to date them, shouldn't she be glad they weren't with some slutty girl? And she was threatening me?

"Don't you have a class to be gettin' to?" I asked before she rolled her eyes at me and stomped off. I couldn't help but wonder if I was like that when I was fourteen, we were more alike then I would have liked to admit and maybe that's why we could be so mean to each other and still be friends.

It wasn't that I was interested in Curly or anything. I was just curious to the fact that he was interested. Sure I had been on dates but I'd never had a boyfriend before, someone who actually wanted to date me. I really had nothing going for me, I wasn't book smart, or pretty like Kathy, I was a twig and had no figure, and I had an attitude that was border lining on being a complete bitch. So to me, having a guy talk about me was flattering, even if it was Curly Shepard.

XXX

It was the first day back from Christmas vacation and I was glad to have a fresh start with new classes. I was pretty sure I had failed at least one of my other ones last semester. I swear all my teachers had it out for me or at least that was the excuse I was going to use, I wasn't really a good student. I tended to be a smart ass and talk back and teachers didn't like that apparently. In my opinion the teachers at this school had some kind of God complex, always had to be right and found some sort of sick pleasure in failing students because they could. Aside from that I never did homework and skipped too much for my own good.

The class I had right after study hall was cooking, the easiest class a girl could take. I liked to sew but cooking wasn't something I was good at. One time I burnt water, given I was too absent minded to wait for water to boil and kind of forgot about it. I walked into the classroom and hurried to grab a seat next Amber.

Amber Kemp started school at Will Rogers in freshman year. She was Steve's cousin and her family had moved to Tulsa from Memphis the summer going into high school. We had been pretty much inseparable since the day we'd met. I didn't know if it was because I found her bitchiness absolutely hilarious or that I was just as bad. We got along well though; she was my best friend even though she was too honest most of the time.

"Ya know it's just our luck getting stuck in the class with all the damn Soc's," Amber said as she snapped her gum. There were two cooking classes, one before lunch and one after. Both of us were stuck in the one before and it happened to be jammed packed with the people I hated the most. And there went the best class of the semester down the drain.

"It's the perfect opportunity to burn down the room and take them all down with us," I grinned and glanced at the two empty chairs at our table. Each group had four members and the last two girls to show up to class would be forced to interact with us.

Amber chuckled as a pretty blonde sat down beside me. She had perfect hair and had on what I assumed were expensive clothing. I didn't know why she would pay to actually wear it… not that she paid for anything. The girl didn't even introduce herself; she sat there like Amber and me were Medusa or something.

I could tell Amber was about to say something until Lee Fox sat down in the chair beside her. I raised an eyebrow, wherever there was a Fox, a Shepard was near by. That much I did know.

"Hey, Blondie, you're in my seat."

I looked past the blonde and saw Curly leaning up against the counter; I rolled my eyes before leaning back in my chair. I didn't know what he was up to but it couldn't be good if he was in a kitchen. The blonde quickly stood up and joined the girls at the other tables that couldn't seem to stop staring.

"What're you staring at?" Amber said, looking at the girls at the opposite table. "It ain't like this is the girls room, mind your damn business."

The girls quickly looked away and started whispering. Amber had a way of speaking her mind and being absolutely blunt about it. That was exactly why we got along, for the simple reason that we could tolerate each other. I smirked before turning towards Curly as he slid the chair across the tile floor. Sitting on the chair backwards he leaned towards me.

"Don't you two have shop or something?" I asked, tapping my nails on the table. Guys never signed up for cooking, it was a 'girl' class. Amber said it was the only downer about it, I didn't mind much.

"I figured, what's the best class to crash?" Curly grinned. "And girl's gym was a no go because we'd be kicked out. We couldn't believe no one thought of this before."

"Food and girls, all ya need to do is add a couple beer and we could have a real good time," Lee said as he winked at Amber before putting his arm around her. I scrunched my nose as Amber laughed at him.

Lee Fox was a lady's man; he was charming, funny, and good-looking. His brother Marty was Tim Shepard's right hand man. All of them were known for the trouble they caused but Curly and Lee were the ones that always seemed to get caught. They were the guys Keith didn't want me around, but of course it seemed like all the guys around here were the same.

Everyone got quiet when Mrs. Cooper walked into the room. She kept her eye on Curly and Lee as she made her way to her desk. Mrs. Cooper was my favourite teacher, she taught health class along with this one. She was laid back and one of those teachers that kids could actually go and ask a question after class. I watched as she looked over what I assumed to be her attendance sheet.

"Looks like you're gonna get kicked out anyway," I whispered to Curly.

"Watch and learn Mathews," he grinned as the teacher looked up from her desk.

"Mr. Shepard, Mr. Fox. Are you supposed to be somewhere else?" Mrs. Cooper asked, giving them both a smile as she organized her loose papers.

"Me and Lee, just switched into this class this morning, they said our names might not be on the list 'til tomorrow," Curly lied as if it were as easy as telling the truth.

"Is that so? If I go down to the office they won't tell me any different, then?"

"No, ma'am," Curly piped. "Wouldn't want you to work those pretty little legs more then you got to though."

I rolled my eyes, Mrs. Cooper was the teacher that all the guys fantasized about and probably talked about in the locker room. She was young, blonde, and the reason my brother kept failing health class. No doubt, she was used to the kind of comments that Curly had given her, hell, probably worse if she's dealt with my brother for this long.

"Mhm," Mrs. Cooper said, unphased. "Well, Charles, if you're going to be in my class. Sit in your seat properly."

Curly got up out of his seat, turning it around before giving me a smug grin. I shook my head at him and couldn't help but to smile back.

XXX

By the time all four of us were at our cooking station and actually cooking we had managed to measure all the ingredients out… twice because Curly knocked over the bowl, and then spill the mop bucket water everywhere because Amber and Lee thought it'd be fun to slide across wet floor.

We were way behind and probably have to stay after class to finish the dishes. The muffins were already in the oven and now all we could do was wait. I could have started the dishes then but I was putting them off for as long as possible.

"What're you thinking about?"

I turned and looked at Curly. I must have been pretty out of it because I hadn't even realized that he sat down. I wanted to ask why he cared but it wasn't too often someone asked.

"About your stupid ass putting us behind," I said as I started tapping my nails on the table again.

"Well, at least you're thinkin' about me," he grinned.

"Don't flatter yourself, Curly."

"When are you gonna let me take you out?" he interrupted. I looked at him as I stopped tapping my nails on the table. To be honest, he made me nervous.

"Never," I answered as I looked at Amber who was waving us over to see the finished product.

"Ya know, playing hard to get only works for so long," he said, following me to the cooking station. I rolled my eyes before turning around to face him.

"What? Until you get bored and move on?"

It has happened before and it is relieving to know that before any relationship starts how committed some of these guys were. Besides, I wasn't playing hard to get because when it came to Curly Shepard I was unattainable.

"Nah, 'til I just show up on your doorstep," he grinned. I shook my head; he thought he was so sly. I turned around and made my way back to the cooking station, looking down at what Amber and Lee pulled out of the oven. They were supposed to be muffins.

"Those do not look like muffins," Lee said, peering over my shoulder. He started poking at one before I slapped at his hand.

"No shit," Amber said. "I blame Curly."

I giggled and looked up to see Mrs. Cooper making her way to our station before Curly could spit out some wiseass remark. She looked down at our so-called muffins and smirked a little. Even the teacher was laughing at our cooking skills.

"Did you use baking soda?" Mrs. Cooper asked. I nodded, I was the one who was in charge of measuring all the shit out and specifically remembered the baking soda because I forgot it last year… during the final project.

She stuck her finger in one of them, tasting it. Her face scrunched up a little and Amber let out a laugh.

"And flour?" she asked. I knew I put flour in because I needed two cups. It was the main ingredient.

"Are you sure you didn't confuse the icing sugar with flour?" she asked, interrupting my thoughts. I sighed and let Lee poke at one of the failed muffins.

"I always enjoy having a Mathews in my class," she grinned before she made her way to the next station.

"Right," I mumbled before tossing the food into the trash. Because us Mathews' were a fucking riot, class fucking clowns.

"Don't worry Jane," Amber said as she started filling a sink. "We make salad tomorrow."

It wasn't the muffins I cared about, they were just muffins. Maybe I was over reacting, and I knew Mrs. Cooper didn't mean any harm, if anything it was meant to be a compliment. I guess I was taking it the wrong way or maybe I was in a bad mood and looking into things too much.

"You are way cooler then your brother," Curly said to me, quiet enough so only I could hear him. I smirked before rolling my eyes at him. He was so full of it, but I gave him an A for effort.

"Shut up, Curly."

**XXX**

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	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**A/N: It has taken me far too long to update. I apologize but summer is here and I suspect I'll be writing more frequently. This one goes to aero, without her this fic would be dead. And as always if you see my bad grammar, point it out.**

**XXX**

**January 9, 1966**

It was the first Sunday dinner we were having without the Curtis parents and I could tell my mom was nervous. It wasn't as if she had anyone to impress, it was after all just the Curtis boys. But she was running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. Now that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis weren't gonna be there, there bound to be small awkward silences that were usually filled with laughter.

It had been just over a month since they had passed away, I was sure, positive, that Sunday dinners would stop. The only reason why we had Sunday dinners was because my mom and Sally and Darrel Curtis went way back to high school… but they were gone now, maybe I just thought it was too soon. My mom was stubborn like that though, I guess that's where I got it from. The Curtis boy's were like our family and seeing as neither of us had much of any left it was important that we kept tradition.

"Jane, sweetheart. Are you done making the salad?"

I looked over my shoulder and watched as my mom put in a pair of earrings. My mom was tiny like I was but even she was taller then me by a couple inches. She was smart, funny, and I wished she were around more but ever since dad left she kept up with two jobs, sometimes three. So I guessed Sunday dinner was just as important to me as it was for her.

I looked down at the bowl of lettuce and scrunched my nose. What more did a salad need? Dressing, maybe cheese. I thought about it for a second before deciding it was good enough. I nodded at my mom before putting the bowl on the stove and placing two different kinds of dressing beside it.

"All done," I grinned. My mom smiled as she looked over the plates and bowls of food. Potatoes, cabbage rolls, vegetables, ham, and of course my salad. My mom had gone all out, it was like Christmas without the turkey. She must have worked overtime to be able to buy everything. It was probably the best part about my mom; she was the most selfless person in the world. She lost her best friends and I don't think I had seen her cry once, she was tough as nails and I admired her.

"Good, the boys will be here soon," my mom smiled as I looked at her.

"Mom," I hesitated, grabbing six plates from the cupboard instead of eight. "Don't you think this is a little much?"

"I just want everything to be nice," she said as she started laying out the tablecloth we only used for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I sighed, the kitchen was pretty much a room that symbolized everyone staring, feeling bad for what happened. I wanted to take the tablecloth and throw it out a window.

"Our house is like their second home; I just thought that maybe it should at least feel that way since theirs doesn't anymore."

My mom stared at me for a while and gave me the look parents give their kids when they realize their baby has grown up. She started folding up the tablecloth with a sad smile on her face. I felt bad for her, I wouldn't know what I would do if I lost my best friend either. She worked so hard though; I didn't think she really had time to be sad because by the time she went to bed she was too tired to think about the tragedy in her life.

XXX

Dinner was completely silent. Even with three Mathews' at the table the only thing heard were the clanking of forks across plates. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, staring across the table at my brother, silently begging him to tell a joke or something.

Shifting my gaze to the chocolate cake Soda announced they brought for desert, it made me think of Mrs. Curtis; she baked the best chocolate cakes. I started to feel hot, wondering if Soda knew I was thinking about his mom. We were sitting beside each other and somehow the thought of making sure our elbows didn't touch made it better.

Poking at my salad I remembered how Sundays used to be. It was always loud no matter whose house we were at. We used to alternate Sundays and whenever we went over to the Curtis house we would stay for hours, sometimes I watched as the parents played cards, drank beer and talked about the good times.

The first time any of us had tried a cigarette was when I was ten. We stole one from my mom's pack that she hid in the cupboard under the sick. I guess she didn't want me or Keith knowing back then, that she started smoking again when dad left. We knew though, kids had a way of finding out things like that one way or another. So one night when our parent's laughs could be heard from outside Keith and Darry snuck back into the kitchen and took just one cigarette. All five of us passed it back and forth in the backyard behind the shed, trying not to cough up a lung in front of each other.

"Jane," my brother broke the silence. "What is this?"

He looked from me to the salad that was on his dish. The rest of the table started to snicker; I smirked and raised an eyebrow. If I had to be the joke to get back to normality I was fine with that.

"Shut up, it's a salad and it's delicious."

"It's just lettuce," Ponyboy piped in. My brother had a goofy grin plastered on his face, the grin he put on that made everyone crack a smile. Keith had always been close with the kid, like the brother he never had. When I was younger I was jealous and hated Ponyboy more than anyone. But as I got older I realized my brother does care about, maybe a little too much at times but Ponyboy was different. Everyone knew it too, not just because he was too smart for his own good but because he saw things differently than everyone else did and I couldn't blame my brother for wanting to be around someone like Ponyboy Curtis.

"Put some dressing on it and can it," I joked, handing him the salad dressing. Grinning, I poked at my salad as Soda picked up a chunk of lettuce and tossed it on my plate.

"Did you even rip the lettuce up?" Soda asked. I looked down at the big chunk of almost white lettuce and grinned. What did they expect? Salad wasn't good to begin with, it was like rabbit food… so maybe it wasn't as good as other salads, a salad was a fucking salad.

This was standard routine; ever since I was little I was the easy target. It was probably because I was so easily annoyed, even when we were kids I was the one stuck with cooties and wasn't allowed in the no girls allowed forts. It bothered me something awful when I was younger but as I started making my own girl friends I was suddenly their favourite person in Tulsa. Boys will be boys as my mom always said. I thought the saying just gave guys another reason to do stupid shit, but what did I know?

"It's real hard to find that special lady that can fit something that big into her mouth," Keith grinned, making everyone, including our mom laugh.

I scrunched my nose, dirty jokes were fine and dandy but they were somehow much more disturbing coming out of my brother's mouth and beside Dallas he was the king of dirty jokes. I picked up the chunk of lettuce and threw it at him from across the table, hitting him in the forehead.

"Like you would know, it ain't like you have that problem," I smirked, matching his raised eyebrow. My brother gave me a wink as dinner went on and I smiled back at him, the whole table was snickering now, making jokes and talking. There was no more scratching of forks or a silence that could never be understood by anyone.

XXX

After helping my mom with the dishes I went to sit on the porch for a cigarette. My mom didn't like either of us smoking but there wasn't much she could say about it anymore. Sitting between two posts of the railing, I let my feet dangle over the edge. I was short enough to swing them back and forth without having them hit the ground.

When the porch squeaked I turned around and looked up at Soda, nodding when he pointed to the spot beside me. I offered him a cigarette from the pack I stole from Keith's dresser.

"I thought tonight would be a disaster," he admitted, taking out his own lighter from his front jean pocket. I nodded again, taking a puff from my cigarette.

To be perfectly honest I was half expecting Darry to call mom and cancel not because he didn't want to come or didn't want to associate with us anymore but because it was just too hard to be normal after what happened. I was surprised when they walked through the door cake in hand; I had to give 'em credit that much was for sure.

"So did I."

Soda hardly ever smoked or so everyone thought for all anyone knew he smoked just as much as I did. I think that Soda tried real hard to be the best he could be for Pony's sake, especially now. As far as Ponyboy knew Soda was some kind of God send, it worked too, you could tell by the way the kid looked at him. Soda was like any other sixteen-year-old boy as far as I was concerned; he liked fights, loved cars and was the biggest flirt I'd ever met.

"I'm dropping out," Soda mumbled as he ashed his cigarette. I froze and slowly turned toward him, my cigarette hanging from my lips. Soda didn't do very well in school but hell neither did I. I wondered if he had thought it through because lets face it we were already at a disadvantage, what were kids like us going to do without a high school diploma.

"Of school?"

I was shocked, I didn't have any friends that had dropped out… at least not yet. I was surprised that Darry was okay with it because everyone and their dog knew that if Mrs. and Mr. Curtis wouldn't let it happen if they were still living

"No shit," he chuckled.

It wasn't a joke though, it wasn't a sarcastic laugh, it was more sad than anything. I started picking the brown paint off of the railing and glanced back up at him. He didn't look sad; he looked more content than anything.

"I already talked to Darry," he went on with a shrug. "Couldn't really say no to the idea."

I knew the Curtis's were struggling with money, along with everyone else on the East side. Darry must have felt terrible admitting he needed help, it must have felt even worse having your kid brother drop out in order to get that help.

I hated money. Sure, it made the world go round but it was fucking evil just take a look at the Soc's, if that wasn't proof I didn't know what was.

"And Ponykid?" I asked, watching him flick his cigarette on the lawn.

"I reckon he won't be too happy about it," he grinned as he got up from his spot. "But he's the smart one anyways, right?"

"You don't give yourself enough credit Curtis," I smirked back. He rolled his eyes at me before reaching his hand down to help me up.

"C'mon it's freezing out here."

XXX

**Oh, how I long for reviews.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**A/N: This goes to all my reviewers, you're the ones who keep me going. Thank you.**

**XXX**

**January 11, 1966**

"My dad's home," Ozzy told me as we started to close up the store. I handed him the broom from behind the till and waited for him to continue. I had a tendency to stay away from the topic of dad's because I didn't really remember mine all that much and although I might have looked fine with it, it still upset me. Keith would talk 'til he was blue in the face trying to get me to think differently and so I didn't really have anyone to bring it up to anyway.

I started facing the shelves, bringing cans forward to fill the holes. I looked back at Ozzy as he silently swept the floor behind me as The Beatles started to play on the small hand held radio on the cart of cleaning supplies we rolled around with us every night. It was used and didn't sound all that great when it was turned up too loud but Ozzy had invested in one not too long after Henry and Maude let us close down the store by ourselves.

I liked The Beatles, although I'd never admit it out loud. I'd be hassled the rest of my life for knowing the words to a few of their songs. Given they were no Elvis… what I would do to Elvis. I looked back at the cans I was pushing forward, making sure to check the expiry dates.

"And?" I finally asked after the long pause. This was routine, Ozzy would say something, it would start off being about him and then he would somehow turn it around and try to get something out of me. I guessed it was how he got to know me, he could pretty much predict what I would do before I actually did. I didn't mind all that much, he was smart and usually right.

"Gran and Grandad are having a barbeque and you should come," he said as he started sweeping the floor.

"Why?" I asked, starting to tune out The Beatles. Although I was close with the Auswald's and I had dinner with them a couple of times I never met Ozzy's dad before. All I could think about was how awkward it would be and I didn't see the why I was being invited when Mr. Auswald was hardly home as it was, seemed like he should be spending that time with his family.

"I think if you met my dad you'd have a better understanding of yours."

I turned around and looked at him, his chin resting on his hand on top of the handle of the broom. I hardly talked about my dad and maybe I thought of him more often than I should have; whenever I did say anything about him it wasn't very nice. I knew that Ozzy understood where I was coming from but Henry and Maude were the old fashioned type, my dad fought in the war therefore automatically deserved respect.

Whenever something negative came out of my mouth about my father I would always get a: "Now, now Janey. Your father is a brave man." So I wouldn't be surprised if Henry and Maude were the ones who wanted me at that barbeque. I didn't want to go.

"Oz, my dad ain't around for me to understand."

I turned back around and shuffled the cans on the shelf maybe a little too roughly. I heard Ozzy sigh behind me and it just got me even more annoyed. It was the kind of disappointed sigh that was more emphasized when you knew you were in the wrong.

"Why should I have to understand someone that ain't even around to know who I am," I said bitterly as I turned back around to put an expired can of olives on the rolling cart.

"Jane."

The way he said my name made me look up at him. I raised my eyebrow at him and waited for him to the voice of all reason and try to convince me otherwise. I didn't need any convincing though, not about this because my Dad was the one who left my family and me.

"The sooner you understand your Dad and why he did what he did, the sooner you'll be able to accept it, forgive him and move on with your life."

That was pretty convincing. I sighed and glared at him, he was right but I wasn't going to admit it not even to myself because honestly, I didn't want to forgive my father. I hated him.

I rolled my eyes at him and huffed a little. Fucking Ozzy, why the fuck did he care so much anyway?

"Did Henry and Maude put you up to this?"

"No," Ozzy shrugged as he started sweeping again, the thought made me angrier.

"Ya know Oz, maybe you should mind your own business," I snapped. I shuffled a few more cans around on the shelf. My father leaving was no one business beside my family's and mine and how I felt about my father was something no one knew about but me.

"Maybe," he shrugged again, making me even more irritated. It wasn't a big deal to him, bringing up something that was so personal. It was to me though and I almost hated him for it.

XXX

"That's bullshit." I heard Dallas say from the living room when I got home from work.

"You're the one who keeps taking her back to bed," my brother half joked.

"And you wouldn't?" Dallas snorted as he leaned back into the couch.

Sylvia, I scrunched my nose. I wasn't a fan; a lot of people didn't like her much. She could be a real bitch, I knew that was all an act like she had to be some kind of tough greaser girl because she lived on the East side. Way I saw it; if you lived on the East side you were already tough. I knew Sylvia, better then I would have liked, she was actually a good person and had a lot of friends.

We were friends at one point in time, before she started seeing Dallas. I never considered the two to be dating because… all they really did was fight and fuck. They were complicated, that was for sure but in the end I took Dallas's side when Sylvia decided to cheat.

I hated cheaters and Dallas was one of my closest friends. Even though he didn't seem to be upset about it at all, nobody deserved to be treated that way, even Dallas. When they broke up she'd always blame him for why she was such a bitch to everyone, he was the reason why she had to build this imaginary wall to keep people out, and that he really shouldn't be shocked when she goes and finds someone with real emotion.

I knew that got to Dallas. Hell, it'd get to anyone if it were said enough times. He'd been blamed for enough in his life. She was slowly getting to him, maybe even hurting him and that was why I hated her. Given, Dallas was far from innocent… very far; he never cheated on her. It was the betrayal that hurt him most, he'd never admit it but there was a reason why he was the way he was and it was because of people like Sylvia Haims, that walked all over him.

"You know more than anyone, women want more after you sleep with 'em. The cuddling and the flowers… hanging out with your clothes actually on."

I could see why people came to my brother for advice and most of the time, it seemed to be anyway, he had all the answers. I think people went to him because he could be serious and honest but funny at the same time. He could really make someone think if he wanted, he was really good with words that way.

It was probably because to me, he really did have all the answers. He was the one who taught me to stick up for myself, said as much as he would like to always be there he wouldn't be. Taught me to never be a rat unless I was in real danger because people sooner trust or befriend a Soc than ever look at a rat. And to avoid ever being a rat, one of my brother's most emphasized teachings, don't ever get caught. You get caught you deserve every last thing that gets dished out to ya he said. But most importantly, stick together because it was a tough world and people just didn't give a hang about no one but themselves, so when you find the few that you can trust, always stick with 'em and they'll stick with you. Period.

"God forbid you notice the colour of her eyes," I said back to my brother as I made my way towards the couch.

"Exactly," my brother grinned, patting Dallas on the back as he got up from the chair he claimed was his spot. "Which reminds me, I have a date with Kathy and I think I might be late."

I rolled my eyes at him; he wondered why she was always bitching at him. I like Kathy she was my favourite of all the girls my brother had been with, at least the one's he actually thought were decent enough to bring home and introduce to Ma and me. They were always breaking up but ever since I could remember they were together and ever since I was little I thought they'd get married.

When I was eleven I had locked myself in the bathroom and no matter how much my brother banged on the door I refused to come out. I was embarrassed but apparently my brother was smart enough to call Kathy and have her come over to talk to me. I learned about the birds and the bees and all that good stuff, told me it ain't anything to be upset about, said I could officially wear make up, she even taught me how to put it on, and I'd always love her for that.

"Come on," Dallas said getting up from the couch.

I didn't bother asking where we were going, there wasn't any point because when it came to Dallas and me hanging out we could just end up in Canada somehow. Instead, I followed him out the door and tried to keep up.

XXX

"We're here to talk business and you brought Jane Mathews as your back up?" Tim said as Dallas and I made our way up to him after sneaking through the fence of The Nightly Double. Dallas gave him a shrug and I raised an eyebrow.

"You brought Curly," I said blandly as if anybody in the entire world was better then Curly Shepard. Dallas laughed and Curly flipped me off about to say something back before getting cut off.

"Go buy Janey a Coke Curly," Tim said, leaning up against the fence. "Now," he spoke again before Curly could say otherwise.

I wasn't afraid of Tim but I knew he was scary. I never really saw his scary, gang business side before so I had never been scared of him, really. And even though I didn't rely on my brother to watch over me people still knew he was my brother, I didn't see much of anyone's scary side… I was then assuming my brother could be pretty scary too.

After telling Dallas to meet me outside the concession when he was done I started for the small building that was a hole inside and out but still managed to serve good popcorn.

"Thanks a lot," Curly said, spitting off to the side when he caught up to me. "The one time Tim asks me to come along and you have to go and ruin it."

"Please," I rolled my eyes. "We both know he'd've gotten you to do something else whether I was here or not."

"How would you know?" he said, defensively.

"'Cuz I have an older brother too and no matter what ya do you'll always be a kid in his eyes."

It was true and he knew it. As much as I wanted to admit I had something in common with Curly. It could be a pain, living in their shadow; having people place assumptions onto you but in the end you couldn't help but admire them in all their greatness.

Curly started mumbling under his breath as he watched his feet as we walked. I rolled my eyes and wanted to tell him that I'm sure Tim'd think differently if you didn't bitch so much. I decided against it, I knew all too well the kind of mood he was in. I wasn't a complete bitch.

"Jeez, Shepard, just when I was starting to think this was one big plan for you to buy me Coke," I joked; smirking when he lifted his head and grinned.

"So you are on to me," he said, going along with it.

"I'm flattered. It must've been hard work getting Tim and Dallas all the way out here."

"You have no idea," he grinned as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

Truth was, I really didn't have any idea about Curly Shepard… and I kind of wanted to.

**XXX**

**You know what it is… yeah that's right, review time ;)**


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders does not belong to me.**

**A/N: This is a long one, there is bound to be mistakes I missed, please if you see them point it out.**

**XXX**

**January 13, 1966**

It was Angela's fifteenth birthday and she had convinced me to spend all day Friday with her to get ready. I didn't know why some girls needed hours to plan and get ready for a night out; maybe I was doing it wrong. But it was her birthday and I was her friend so I was stuck in her room trying to get her to pick something, anything, to wear. She had been through her wardrobe twice, which was much bigger than mine and was about to start on her third round. By this time I had no other choice but to flip through old magazines.

"Okay, what about this skirt?" she asked, turning away from the mirror to face me. I shrugged and kept flipping the pages of the magazine quickly.

"You look wonderful in everything Angela, just pick something," I told her. It was true enough; Angela was one of those girls all the girls were jealous of because she was pretty no matter what she did. No make-up and jeans and the girl would get more attention then most. But she wasn't the girl who knew she was pretty and strutted around like her shit didn't stink and I liked that about her. The only reason she strutted was because her last name was Shepard.

"It'd help if one of us had been to Buck's," she said, looking at me like it was my fault I hadn't been to the place. It wasn't like I wasn't interested in going because I was, everyone went, but my brother wasn't so keen on the idea. I was pretty sure it was because he didn't want me seeing him acting like guys did at places like Buck's. Since I was going to be sixteen next month, I figured he could say much.

"I'm sure if Tim or Curly catches you in there you won't even get a chance to have your clothes smelling like cigarette smoke and stale beer."

"Tim and Marty are out of the city for the night on business," she grinned. All I could think of right then was how much I'd hate for my brother to be out of the city so much. But that's what Tim did; he was bigger in this gang business then most people thought, it was probably more serious than even I thought it was.

"And if we happen to run into Curly, well I have you to distract him for me."

I stopped flipping the pages of the magazine and raised an eyebrow at her. I cleared my throat a little, ever since the night at The Nightly Double and actually having conversation that went beyond teasing each other, it was easy to see that Curly was a lot more then what people made him out to be.

"And you're okay with that?" I asked, doubtfully. Not only was Angela just as protective over her brothers as they were over her, she didn't think any girl was good enough for either of them. So not only was it weird that I didn't make a joke of what she said and tell her that would never happen but she was asking me to keep her brother distracted.

"I am when it's my birthday," she smirked again, finally picking out which skirt she was going to wear. "Since Tim's gone, he's harder to distract and you could distract any guy if ya really wanted to and he seems to have his eyes set on you. Besides it ain't like you like 'im back, right?"

I quickly glanced back down at the magazine and started flipping through the pages again. Seemed to me she had it all planned out, I wasn't there to celebrate; I was being used as a distraction. She sure had a way to make someone feel important.

"Right," I said when Angela turned towards me. "He's your brother," I assured her.

"Do my hair for me," she said, sitting down in the chair in front of her mirror. I shook my head a little and sighed before getting off of her bed, she was damn lucky it was her birthday.

"After, we can go back to your place, I wanna borrow your red shirt."

I was tempted to yank on her hair but nodded instead. I was such a good friend.

XXX

By the time we actually made it to Buck's it was already eleven o'clock. Angela strutted ahead of me as we made our way up the hill of the driveway. I could hear the bad music that everyone complained about from outside and hesitated even going inside.

I had only met Buck a handful of times when I went with Dallas to the Slash J. He was nice enough but I knew he knew who my brother was, even if Dallas was the only person that didn't introduce me as Two-Bit's sister; you'd have to be blind not to be able to tell I was a Mathews.

I didn't want to go in because wanted to avoid the embarrassment of the looks that said, "What the hell is she doing here", not being able to get a drink, or worse being kicked out. Maybe I was over analyzing everything because just by the look of the outside of the bar, I knew it had seen better days and by the way Dallas had talked about Buck, he wasn't the kind of guy who turned down any kind of business, it didn't matter age or who's kid sister you were. I decided to keep walking.

When I finally made it inside I tried looking for Angela through the big crowd of people and smoke. She was either with Sylvia or she was dancing; I was too clumsy to dance and Sylvia wasn't an option so I opted for the bar. If everyone came here, I was bound to find someone I knew. Squeezing past the crowd and making my way to the bar I was already annoyed by the noise, the crowd, and most of all Angela.

"Jane, right?" I heard someone say in a deep southern drawl from behind the bar, I looked up to see Buck handing out a couple beers. I nodded and held back the urge to yell at the people walking by shoving me, making me touch the disgusting sticky bar.

"You ain't gonna start a tab an' never pay it off like that brother of yours, are ya?" he asked with a lopsided grin. It was a serious question, even though he was smiling. It just proved that everyone loved my brother; he could even talk his way out of paying the cheapest guy in town what he owes. I shook my head and pull out a few coins as if I need to prove myself.

"Well kiddo, what can I get for ya?" he asked as he scooped up the coins I left on the bar; something I found quite impressive for how sticky it was.

I fought the urge to tell him not to call me a kid. I was probably the one thing that got on my nerves the most but seeing as he was letting me actually order a drink and he was probably almost ten years older than I was, I let it go.

"She'll have a rum and Coke, Buck," a voice I'd recognize anywhere said from behind me.

I didn't drink much at all, I had only been drunk once and that was the night of the Curtis parents funeral when Keith had brought back Steve, Dallas and Johnny because they knew their friends needed the space and time alone. That was a little over a month ago and I had already sworn off drinking. I didn't know why but once people found out you had never been drunk it was their mission to have you throwing up by the end of the night. Mission accomplished.

Dallas shoved a few people out of the way before standing beside me. I didn't know how or when we had learned each other's favourites, for as long as I remember being friends with Dallas he had always known how I liked my coffee or what my favourite colour was. It was nice to know someone knew those things; it was why I considered him to be one of my good friends. People were convinced Dallas didn't care about anything, he was a good for nothing, cold hearted, kid. Those were the people who didn't know him all too well, all a person had to do was get to know the guy and they'd see that that reputation was an illusion to keep out all the people who didn't care enough to look deeper. If he were that guy there is no way the Curtis boys would even let him in their house. Dallas was loyal and honest, sometimes blatantly so, he was a good friend. Misunderstood, and I think because I cared enough to realize that was why we were as good of friends as we were.

"I need your help," he said as he turned me around by my shoulder. He was sloshed; I could smell the whiskey on him.

"It's between that broad in the blue," he pointed to a pretty brunette playing pool. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed his hand and put it back down beside him when the girl started to stare at Dallas pointing.

"Or that broad in the… blue," he said, not realizing they both were wearing blue; he lifted his hand again and pointed to a different girl standing over by the door.

"I don't think it's possible to make a girl like Sylvia jealous," I said turning back around and picking up the drink that was left for me. I heard Dallas groan and mumble under his breath as he turned to face me.

This was classic Dallas and Sylvia post break-up. Sylvia would start casually seeing the guy she left Dallas for, I think it pissed him off more then made him jealous because he knew she'd always come crawling back to him. So, as a retaliation of a sort Dallas would pick up girls far prettier then Sylvia, and bring them back up to his room. It almost never failed.

"This ain't about Sylvia. I'm done with her fucking head games, besides she bores the hell outta me. This, this is about getting laid," he told me, slurring a little. I scrunched my nose and took a sip of my drink.

Even though he was drunk I could tell he was being serious. Once Dallas got bored, there was no shot in hell. I had to say though, Sylvia did last much longer then I thought she was going to.

"Hey," he said shaking my shoulder, making my drink spill and drip onto my hand. I sighed and put my drink down before looking up at him, he turned me back around.

"Just… just give the advice your brother would give me," he grinned again. He was drunk; I'd've cuffed him upside the head if he wasn't.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes as I wiped the drink off of my hand onto the sleeve of his jacket. The only way to make a drunk person shut up was to just do what they were asking and I was already to annoyed by everything else to have Dallas ask me which girl did I think was easier over and over again.

I slouched down into the same shitty posture my brother had and looked between the two girls as if I was actually contemplating which one he could score with first.

"Go for both, man," I said, mimicking my brother's laugh as I slapped Dallas on the back.

Before I could turn back around to my drink, Dallas was roaring. I shook my head a little and smirked, it wasn't too often he laughed like that.

"This is why we are friends," he said, still laughing. I took a sip of my drink; I didn't even think it was that funny but apparently my imitation of my brother was all aces according to Dallas.

"Jane," I heard Angela shriek from behind us. I sighed and turned around, she obviously wanted something because it was the only reason she'd be there. I giggled as Dallas face scrunched up.

"Ah," Dallas shouted. "Christ, you could wake the fucking dead with a voice like that. And the first person I'd feed them is you," Dallas laughed to himself. I smacked him the shoulder, he could be a real dick if he wanted. Actually, most of the time he was, especially when he thought he was being funny.

Angela gave Dallas a timid wave followed by a small smile. I smirked to myself, if she acted like this around him all the time I'd have to think about keeping Dallas close by more often. Angela was a loud mouth know it all but when it came to Dallas Winston… he could call her every name in the book and she'd still swoon over the guy.

Angela quickly grabbed my wrist and took me off the to the side, still blushing and watching over my shoulder, hoping for another glance from Dallas. I rolled my eyes at her and yanked my wrist from her hand to get her attention again.

"Curly's here," she said, pointing her thumb behind her towards the back entrance of the building. If I wasn't actually looking forward to seeing Curly I'd have probably told her to fuck right off just for the way she's been treating me. I looked toward the door and saw a head full of greased curly black hair through the crowd.

"You owe me," I told her.

"Get me a date with Dallas and I'll owe you," she grinned half seriously. I laughed by an accident, a little too loudly. She glared at me and I bit my lip to keep from laughing in her face again.

"Dallas don't do dates Angela," I snorted as I patted her shoulder and moved through the crowd.

XXX

"Have you seen my sister?" Curly asked, popping out of nowhere. I had spent the last ten minutes trying to find him through the growing crowd and had no luck. Seemed to me he had learned a few tricks from his brother, only being found when he wanted to be.

"You wouldn't be asking if you thought the answer was no," I grinned, looking up at him. I had no idea what I was doing; I had probably flirted with a total of two guys in my life. I figured as long as distracted him by being a smartass it'd work just the same.

"Wouldn't I?" he smirked that sly smirk of his that only a couple of weeks ago I thought was repulsive. I felt the back of my neck get hot and I was silently praying I wasn't turning that pink colour my mom said was adorable.

"You're the responsible Shepard now, you wouldn't waste your time," I shrugged, not knowing what else to say. Curly smirked as if he tricked me into telling him what he wanted to know, my guess was not too many people knew Tim was out of town.

"I think you might be giving me more credit than I deserve," Curly said looking over my shoulder for Angela. I was definitely glad I had one brother, I was even more glad that my brother wasn't half as motivated as either Tim or Curly.

"Nah," I grinned, standing on my tiptoes to get his attention on me instead of the crowd. I played with the hem of his leather jacket and bit my bottom lip; maybe I could pull off the flirting thing because it sure caught his attention.

"You're just not used to being credited."

He looked down at me and put his hands on my hips, the back of my neck was starting to heat up again as I could see him weighing his options. He sighed heavily through his nose before shaking his head a little.

"Come on," he said as he slightly pulled me towards the back door. I was frozen, just because Curly had pretty blue eyes that made him seem all sweet didn't mean he could be trusted. What if I was put into a situation I couldn't get out of? Then again, it was Curly. I had been in all of his classes since kindergarten; I had no reason not to give him chance and it wasn't like he was going to burry me in his backyard or something.

"Where we going?"

"Come on," he said again, smirking. Before I could hesitate anymore my fingers were laced with his and my feet were following him out the door. I had a feeling that smirk of his would get me in more trouble than I wanted to be a part of.

"What about Angela?"

What about Angela? Why the fuck was I bringing up Angela? Wasn't that the opposite of what I was supposed to be doing? It was times like this I understood why my brother always told me I had to think before I spoke because eventually it'd get me into a heap of shit; and no one liked smelling like shit… my brother the advice giver.

"It's her birthday," Curly shrugged as we made our way through the crowd.

**XXX**

**Reviews will make epic Curly and Jane time come faster.**

**A/N: I wasn't going to cut the chapter off where I did but it was becoming far too long and I tend to keep chapter below 3000 words because long chapters bore me when I read them and I end up skimming them. I don't want that to happen here.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter so it took me awhile to figure out what to do with it. And please point out any mistakes.**

**XXX**

I felt like a marshmallow. All gooey and warm… was that a cooked marshmallow? Not one that was on fire but one that was nice and golden and sticky. That was what I felt like. I giggled at the thought of everything being made of marshmallows. Curly looked at me and shook his head a little, chuckling as I shuffled my feet along the sidewalk.

Somewhere between the walk from Buck's to the park we had ended up getting cold and decided to head back to the Shepard residence mean while smoking a joint. I had never done drugs before and I really didn't see why weed would be such a big deal anyway. Everyone did it at least once, I knew for a fact my brother had a few times with Dallas. I figured I'd do it once to see what the talk was about and then I changed my mind and figured I could do it as many times as I wanted.

"Curly?" I drawled as I leaned up against the doorframe of the Shepard house while he unlocked the door. I giggled a little when he swore under his breath trying to find the right keys; I wondered why he had so many keys anyway. Why did someone need that many keys? I'd have to remember to ask him.

"Hm?" he said, taking his eyes off his keys and looking up at me, raising his eyebrows. I giggled again at how cute he looked and again at the thought of thinking Curly Shepard was cute. I moved in front of him and leaned up against the door with a big grin on my face that probably made me look like a fucking goof. He gave me a smirk and put his hands on my hips, something I was really starting to get used to.

"Does Tim know you do drugs?" I asked, giggling. It was something I wanted to ask ever since I watched him roll the joint outside of Buck's. If Tim thought it was okay, my brother could too, right? What if he found out?

Curly smirked and shook his head as he leaned into me, putting his key into the lock, unlocking the door.

"He'd beat the shit outta me," he said seriously as he opened the door, wrapping an arm around my waist so I didn't fall backwards. I wondered why he even risked it if his brother was so dead set against it… maybe that's why he did it. I tended to do a lot of shit that my brother didn't want, whether it was to get his attention or piss him off.

Curly lead me through the dark kitchen as I wondered why Tim was one of the biggest drug dealers in East Tulsa but despised drugs so much, wasn't that a tad hypocritical?

We stopped in front of the staircase, where I knew his bedroom was because I had been there enough times to hear him bang against the wall that connected his room with Angela's when she played her music too loud. I'd never been into his room and that wasn't about to change, not tonight anyway. I may have thought Curly was charming and good looking, and so maybe he got me this far but I still had class. I wasn't going up there, even if his intentions were good, which I highly doubted they were, I didn't want to do something I'd regret. I had waited this long for the right time and I was sure this wasn't it.

"You must have me mistaken for Pamela Delveccio if you think I'm goin' up there," I told him, he chuckled and instead lead me to the living room, turning on the T.V.

Pamela was a senior, she was drop dead gorgeous and one of the friendliest girls I knew. The problem with Pamela was that she knew she was gorgeous and she used it to get whatever she wanted, she couldn't seem to keep her legs shut. All the girls hated her like she was going to steal their boyfriends or something. I thought it was because they were jealous because I didn't mind her at all even if her moral compass was way off.

"Thirsty?" Curly asked, snapping me out of my daze. I blinked a couple times, my eyelids were heavy and I almost felt as if I could just go to sleep. I nodded, realizing how dry my mouth was. I wondered if that happened to everyone and that was why he asked. My throat was hot and it hurt because I almost coughed up half my lung taking my first drag too. Maybe, he was a mind reader.

I stared at Star Trek on the T.V. the sound was too low to hear what was going on so I imagined what was being said, giggling to myself when Curly handed me a beer and sat down next to me.

I started to wonder what time it was and looked around the walls for a clock. It was funny I hadn't spent much time in the Shepard living room before, just upstairs in Angela's bedroom.

"It's just after two," Curly said, sipping on his beer. He was a mind reader; I stared at him for a second and decided I must have been very obvious while looking for the clock.

Two in the morning, my brother was probably wondering where the hell I was. I usually called; I'd have to remember to call. He stayed in tonight with Kathy, if it were any other night he wouldn't have noticed. Why the hell did I pick tonight to do something stupid?

I grabbed the beer off of the table before leaned back into the couch, letting Curly wrap his arm around my shoulders. I rested my head on his shoulder before glancing up at him. For a sixteen-year old boy his skin was really nice, I hadn't really noticed before. I smirked to myself and brought my hand to his cheek, touching his skin.

"What?" he asked, looking down at me. I quickly brought my hand back down to my lap; the back of my neck was getting all hot, somehow I thought he wouldn't notice. I didn't know what to say so I just stared at him.

"You are so stoned," he said, chuckling as he brushed the hair out of my face. Was it that obvious? I couldn't go home like this; my brother would shoot me or worse give me that disappointed look that I tried really hard to avoid. Despite my I don't care what people think attitude, what my brother thought mattered a whole lot to me.

Curly brushed the hair from my face before closing the gap between us. I knew then that I liked him and I was screwed. Curly Shepard wasn't the type of guy I was supposed to fall for. He fought too much, he cheated and lied, and he was just plain mean most of the time. But he gave me butterflies.

He was a good kisser, better then the few other guys that I had kissed. He obviously knew what he was doing because before I knew it I was laying down with him hovering above me, his hand ever so slowly slipping underneath the hem of my blouse.

My stomach dropped, I wasn't here for this. The thought of him bringing me here to get in my pants was more upsetting then I thought it would be. I pushed him up off of me and got up off of the sofa. He was staring at me as if I had grown three heads. I was tempted to slap the look off of his face.

"I came here because it was cold," I glared as I started looking for my purse; I was ready to leave. I was suddenly very aware of everything and I almost felt sick about going home. I was still a little hazy but I didn't want to think about Curly Shepard's intentions anymore.

"You're being paranoid," he told me as he lifted up my purse from the floor. I snatched the bag out of his hand. Fucking mind reader.

"Well, I'm going home."

Maybe I was being paranoid. If I went home now, my brother would one hundred percent know what I had been up to. It had to be obvious with the way I felt; there was no way I could hide that. I didn't know why I cared so much, all I knew that it was pretty fucking inconvenient at the moment. I had already half convinced myself to stay while Curly continued to give me excuses.

"It's freezing outside," Curly said, standing up as if he could stop me from leaving.

"So?" I snapped as I made my way toward the door.

I didn't know why I was still arguing. I already decided to stay a while longer despite being tired as hell. Maybe it was the girl in me wanting to see what he'd say next.

"So," he argued, "I don't have a car to drive you and it's a twenty minute walk."

"I've survived worse," I said as I mockingly waved a goodbye.

"Would you quit being so fucking stubborn?"

I glared at him when he moved in between the door and me. Sighing, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Do you even know which way is up?" he asked, giving me a smug nod when I continued to stare at him. He reminded me of Tim right then with his know it all attitude and hint of annoyance in his eyes. Stupid Curly.

"You can stay in my room," he said, turning me around. I let out a sarcastic laugh as if to tell him it was never going to happen.

"I'll sleep on the sofa." He smirked, before I could tell him where he could shove his bed.

"The perfect gentleman," I snorted.

XXX

I woke up to a loud thud with the feeling of not knowing where I was. When I finally sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes I realized I was still at the Shepard's. I had never been in Curly's room before. It was cleaner than I imagined it, and pretty small with only a twin bed and a wooden dresser. There was nothing on the walls except for the hardly noticeable crucifix hanging above the door.

I got up out of bed and fixed my skirt that managed to get twisted from sleeping in it. I used the elastic band from around my wrist to tie my hair back before opening the door of Curly's room.

I made it to the second last step of the staircase before realizing Marty Fox and Tim sitting on the sofa staring at me with amused looks on their faces. I felt my entire face heat up and I wanted to crawl into a small hole and die.

People were going to think what they wanted to think and there wasn't much I could do about it. I didn't want people to get the wrong idea either. It wasn't like Tim and Marty were the type to gossip and run their mouths anyway.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," I said lamely, trying to cover up any embarrassment I might have shown.

"Trust me Mathews." Marty grinned as he made a fake camera with his fingers, pretending to snap a picture. "It's all up here," he said, pointing to his head.

"Curly's in the shower," Tim said, a little too suggestively for my liking. I scrunched my nose as Marty let out a loud laugh. My brother always said it was easy to get under my skin and that was what made it so much fun. Apparently, he wasn't lying.

"I didn't ask." I raised an eyebrow at Tim. He nodded at me knowingly while Marty stifled back another laugh.

"Oh, so it's like that. I completely understand." He smirked and gave me a wink. I opened and shut my mouth, not knowing what to say and bit my tongue. This was officially embarrassing, the back of my neck was uncomfortably warm and all I really wanted was to get the hell out of there.

"I… should go," I hesitated before turning on my heel towards the door, which seemed further away then I remembered it being. I slammed the door shut before Tim or Marty could get another word in.

XXX

I hadn't been walking long before Curly had caught up with me in Tim's car. The passenger window was already rolled down when he hunched down in his seat to look at me.

"Ain't you cold?" he said through the rolled down window. I glanced at him; I was freezing. It was the middle of winter and I was in a skirt, it was something I was pretty sure no girl could get used to.

"Come on, get in."

I sighed, knowing he wouldn't leave until I was home anyway, I might as well be warm. I opened the door when the car came to a stop, staring out the window when he started making his way to my place. He gave me a smug smirk as if he had won something. His hair was still wet and it made it look even curlier than it was normally.

"Are you embarrassed?" he teased, speeding off. Shaking my head partly at his arrogance and partly at his driving. I thought I was a bad driver, I held onto the armrest of the door. His bad driving could give Dallas a run for his money.

"Shut it," I said begrudgingly. He chuckled, tires spinning on the icy road as he took a sharp corner.

"You're kinda cute when you get angry," he said, holding back a laugh behind that damn smile.

"Yeah? Well, I'm about to get real fucking adorable," I said in a sweet voice; smirking to let him know I was just kidding around.

"Well I guess there's a first time for everything, huh?"

I must have forgotten my purse on the living room because there it was, sitting on the floor of the car by my feet. I was actually impressed that he had thought to grab it. It was pretty sweet of him.

"I guess so." I smirked as I picked up my purse from the floor and putting it on my lap.

**XXX**

**I'd love to know what you think of this one.**


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